If it doesn't belong to you, let it go...when hope no longer floats..

I have a few things in my life that doesn't really belong to me. Not material things. Other types of things. I think I have some emotions that don't really belong to me...I have some connections that aren't mine either. I have love that I've scattered to the ends of the earth and back but I don't think it was really mine to give away. And if there was any love laying out there for me to gather back, it certainly doesn't belong to me now. I have been sitting in a very anxious mode of patience. Yes. Anxious. Mode. Of. Patience. I'm anxiously trying to be patient. And it's not working very well. And it's to the point NOW, where I'm starting to lose interest and lose my will to even care anymore. I'm losing ..hope. So..hope didn't ever really belong to me. So I'm letting it go.

Oh Natalie...how do you know my heart so well????????

more from Natalie Walker... Quicksand I must have been so stupid I must have been so out of touch He must have been so clever Convincing me that this was really love Desperate for words, lost in a maze, It fell apart, I lost my place, It hurt so bad, I cried for days Time healed all pain, now I'm okay How many times can my heart break, Disillusioned by the thought of flawless love? Will I ever get there or am I drowning in Quicksand, waiting on relief to come? Desperate for words, lost in a maze, It fell apart, I lost my place, It hurt so bad, I cried for days Time healed all pain, now I'm okay I'll rise from all my sorrow, Let the sun shine on my face All alone in comfort, It's my solitude I will embrace I will rise from the sorrow

Natalie Walker Who? Where have you been all my life??

Holy crap...this chick is AMAZING. This song is FANTABULOUS...OHMY. It makes me have very naughty thoughts...wow. The lyrics are great but the music..is just so...THERE. In the moment THERE. WHOA. Hypnotize me Stupefied Yea you've got me stupefied Hypnotized Oh you've got me hypnotized The way he moved will never leave my mind He hypnotized me And now I'm on this high Stupefied Yea you've got me stupefied Hypnotized Oh you've got me hypnotized When our eyes met I knew I could never look away I could feel his heat and I began to shake I never knew a man could have such an effect He shook me up Now I'll never be the same Do you feel the power of what you're doing to me I am helpless to your touch Your electricity I never knew a man could have such an effect You shook me up Now I'll never be the same You shook me up You shook me You shook me up You shook me

it's official...

I. Am. Done.

The Warmth by Incubus

I'd like to close my eyes, go numb But there's a cold wind coming from The top of the highest high rise today It's not a breeze 'cuz it blows hard Yes and it wants me to discard The humanity I know, watched the warmth blow away So don't let the world bring you down Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold Remember why you came and while you're alive Experience the warmth before you grow old So do you think I should adhere To that pressing new frontier And leave in my wake, a trail of fear Should I hold my head up high? And throw a wrench and spokes by I'm leaving the air behind me clear So don't let the world bring you down Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold Remember why you came and while you're alive Experience the warmth before you grow, before you grow old Where did it go? I think this Warmth has separated itself from my body permanently. I have not had the Warmth in many, many years....and I do not believe it is mine to ever feel again. I think Brian was right when he said what he did to me, about this Warmth...it's no longer mine to have. And when I actually let that thought sink into my brain, it truly, really, makes me want to lay down on the ground and pull the grass up over me till it reaches my head to cover. And of all the things in the world, I never dreamt this would be the one thing I will die without. The only thing I've ever wanted in my whole life. And it's become the hardest thing to ask for. The hardest thing to search for. And the hardest thing to admit. Because unlike the lyric..everyone really is fucked up and cold. Everyone.