so...I have this plastic backscratcher...and a minute ago I was holding it and smacking the end of it on my hand...and a vivid, electrical thought came to my mind...a WHAT IF moment if you will...WHAT IF I were a dominatrix? So...hmmm...what if.....
what would my name be? I can't be Mistress Amanda...that is just...not sensual...or dominating...NOR is Mistress Mandy..I feel 5 when I hear the name Mandy...and for the most part loathe that nickname. Mistress Elizabeth...naw...too gay...so I turned to the everfaithful Google to help me in my search for the PERFECT Mistress name...
"mistress names" I google...and the first name I see after the search is complete, has NOTHING to do with being a dom, but it's the name Martha. Yeah. Martha.
Maaaaaaaaaaaartha...oh yes...the sister of Lazarus...the sister of my late babysitter...the lady in my mom's church who draws her lipstick on her lips in a block shape instead of following the natural curve of her lips....
Mistress Martha...yeeeeeeeeeeeees...I'm Mistress Martha...I'll be your dita tonight..."smacks the riding crop aka backscratcher on hand"....you must obey me...or you'll be puuuuuuuunished....do you want me to punish you? Do you want me to seduce you? Is that what you're trying to tell me?
Oh wait...that last part is from The Graduate...silly me!
I'd want one of those face masks, like Kitka wore in Batman and Robin! WOOT! I want leather...and bitch boots...and a riding crop...I also want a really wild punkish wig. Or or or ...how about a Cleopatra wig? Yeah!! I don't want anyone wearing a diaper that they expect me to change though..that is just sick.
Just run around and do stuff I tell you to do...like, fix me some tea...mop my kitchen...feed the dog...ohoh and grocery shop..yeah...and pay my bills...no, SEW me a blanket out of all my bills...and put me to bed...read me a story...I want to hear Bartholomew and the Oobleck....and get my Raggedy Ann out of the closet for me too...
somehow this just doesn't sound right...but hey...do I ever say anything that sounds right? I don't think so...
ps...I'm fatter today.
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Stumbled onto my playground eh? Well, pick a swing and have a seat...don't forget to swing high and hold on tight! Unless you are more daring and want the go across the monkey bars! I like the seesaw as well...up and down, so my life goes...where I will land...who in the world knows?? But at least I can put it all down and try to figure out the path...
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